Veggie twist smoothie at the mudhouse. yummy.
Semi - bored today but enjoying the quite. Tomorrow I think I'm going to go to Kansas City to visit IHOP and be with my mom. (I haven't been there in a long time - since they made everything God.tv friendly actually - a crime for me being so close and all). She's going up to KC to grab her parents mail, check on the house, be with her sister, and to just be there. As you remember both of my grandparents have recently passed away and I think my mom is doing well in dealing with it all - but it's quite a lifestyle change on top of normal grief of missing loved ones. So i thought I would go with her - lighten the load for her so to speak.
Today i have continued my job search with nothing exciting to be found. As I have begun my inner structuring/transition process again my life could go in a million different directions, here are some of the things i have thought about recently:
1. working somewhere fun (like mamma jeans - where i have a second interview soon) and getting my teaching certification. i'm thinking then go on to get a masters in secondary education would be awesome. i am in love with the idea of working with young adults for the rest of my life and maybe being professional at it. And might just enjoy it...
2. going back to charlotte and furthering my involvement with the house of prayer (this is always a serious consideration of mine). i am heading out east in june and going to spend some time there before i join the team for the icelandic adventure. this will provide some time to pray about the possibility along with the others swarming my mind.
3. Busting it and trying to make a career move with a serious job. This involves many months, resumes, cover letters that take me forever to write, money to sip coffees while writing the cover letters, and patience.
4. Moving somewhere random, or maybe not so random, like Colorado. Doing what...well...
No one but me really knows how serious I am about any of these things - well, maybe a few people. I've been pretty reserved in figuring it out out loud - trying to allow myself space to figure it out without the opinions of others interupt the process too much. I've been having issues with giving myself grace to figure this all out. I feel like I should have things more put together at the ripe age of 25. But I don't. Then I see some people that I truly admire at just the right time of my self-loathing. All of whom which have no particular career so to speak of, are the same age as me, are unbelievably cool people, and truly love the Lord - which really matters more than anything else anyhow. Then I let out an inner sigh inside and remember that I'm not the only one asking these life altering questions.
Do any of us really know what we want to do? Is it the norm to know or the norm not to know? And who cares about the norm anyway. I guess I do - it pushes me often into new levels of frusteration and stress. But...I just keep giving my drive to have this worked out to God and ask Him to speak to me concerning these mysteries. And allow me to know that He will do His job and I am to do mine. He answers the questions and I ask. He leads and I follow. He speaks and I listen. He is the music and I am the instrument.
2 comments:
Hi Jenn, Barbie Jackson here. Jeff and some people from our church are at IHOP-KC right now. They arrived on Thurs and are leaving Sunday afternoon. He said its incredible, as always. Yeah, I was watching the live web stream and saw them in the prayer room. How wild is that? Glad you get to go. Take care.
Abraham, the wandering father of many nations. In wandering God brings us to wells in the deserted places. There He provides smoothies of the Spirit. His love wraps His arms around us and then we truly know that "God you are with us" and have always been there. The roots of our love grow deeper and we are always thankful for the times in the desert.
Being blessed as one who will be a mother of many of His Children.
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