Ephesians 3:9 / Fellowship of the Mystery

man i wish i had something compelling and profound to put on here but I'm afraid neither of those things are going to happen. I'm just laying here in my bed, like most people around this time of night, looking at my dog curled up next to me laying on the pillow. she's cute. Thinking about how I don't want to spend my day working tomorrow. Thinking about how I wish I could find the bridge for the song I'm working on, and how without trying to I end up writing cheesy lyrics. Thinking about all the things I do when I sit here - the hour before i brush my teeth, wash my face, and head to bed time. Cave time. Down time. Quite time. Bed time. Thinking about how I want to play another round of Word Twist but it sucks up my time, and how everything sucks up my time. And how I wish I had a prayer room to go to. Because then I would pray instead of playing Word Twist. And how the Word comes alive a little more when there are people around going deeper in it too.
I've been feeling a little off the past couple of days and I can't pin-point it. Maybe it's just that I am transitioning again? Or that work is slow? Or that I maybe miss charlotte (always missing things and people aren't i?) and my freedom while I'm there? Or maybe it's just that my sister is still lying in her bed and has an broken back? I don't know. Actually I think I know what it is --- I have the God hunger inside of me lately. A desire just to be with Him and cut everything else out. I've been trying to remind myself why I am 'danieling' it up right now and to listen for His voice while I work. Trying to hear what He is saying to my generation and the church in this crazy gas/ war-ish/ israel/ terrorist/ economic/ famine/ interesting hour that we are living in (I know, sort of cliche' sounding but it's true). Trying to grab some mysteries that are up just above the clouds - where our minds should be resting but have a hard time doing so (check this verse out: "and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ Eph 3:9). I'm trying to hear those little whisperings just enough to make me want to hide a little more under the umbrella of His big ole wings. Sometimes I find I'm more distracted than I want to be in these things though. At work putting up the pretty smelling lotions and coming home to sit around and think of bridges to songs and Word Twist games and lilly laying on pillows, you know, those kind of distractions. Or maybe it's just called life... There's a voice I want to hear though while I'm doing the dishes and putting up lotions at work and hanging out with my sister's broken back... I know I can hear it if i just can remember to listen.