Camping Trip Fall 2008

I went camping this weekend with my friends Lindsay, Kesha, Michelle, and Leah. We had a great time talking, cooking, hiking, and all the other parts about getting away and camping a group of friends enjoys. Enjoy the pics from the beautiful Hercules Glades of Missouri...

cooking with the winnies

Today at work I got the idea in my head that I should cook something for myself tonight. It is the perfect night for it. No one really is in town and if they are - they aren't doing anything tonight (gosh, at least that I know of), so I pretty much had the house and my time all to myself.
I decided in my wanderings at work that I would try a butternut squash ravioli and would try to make the sauce myself, make some garlic bread, and be done with it. So I got some stuff and came home and got down to business. I got out the pans. Chopped things. Had my bread ready to go and my butter browning...
And I will stop there and say this: I should have stopped at the thought of cooking. It was no bueno people. I thought about giving it to the dogs but that would have been mean. I really want to be more domestic but at this stage in life I just am not. I was even a breakfast cook for over a year, but let's face it people - breakfast is about the easiest type of cooking one can do. Hopefully one day I'll get this whole cooking thing down. Ha! Maybe.

le sigh

I changed my room (I know...my room, as if I'm still in college and am not 26) around yesterday because i have had a bit of too much alone time. Haven't been feeling too cozy lately, so, needed my room to be. this is my oh so serious 'le sigh' face.

what is on my mind at the moment

1. I want to go to Iceland
2. I am drinking good coffee from the Coffee Ethic. Love this little get away
3. I am listening to good music sitting across from my beautiful sister.
4. I miss my Arin.
5. I really really really want more of God. More than anything else. This hunger is becoming by best friend.
6. I think I want to start painting again and maybe write a new song too.
7. I want to go to Israel this summer with my friend Katherine.

stopping in for a post

humph. what to say? not much today honestly. I just got back from church at the Vineyard and now I'm going to enjoy a day off alone and with the Lord. I'm feel like I work all the time so this is good. I'm looking forward to it...I think I need something to hold on to in the Spirit. Something to grasp and contemplate and maybe that God is even doing something huge in my heart...though I'm not quite sure I have correct wording, labels, or even a theory as to what it is. I'll let you know.

macro vs. micro

Well I'm trying to relax tonight, put my feet up, maybe watch a movie... But for some reason I don't feel very relaxed, and I can't get there. There is nothing going on personally to warrant it. Actually everything is great. But there is this sense of urgency brewing within me that I feel very strongly (to be redundant about it). As I spend more time with God it is becoming clear that is time for intercession and not just mere personal maintenance, a time to ask Him what He is doing and how He is moving in the earth and not to spend so much time worrying about what I am doing on the earth... Mkay, not that I (or we) don't have to pay attention to my own life, I'm not saying it's not important - but I'm starting to realize that my heart is actually moved more when I stop thinking about myself and start to thinking about what is on the heart of God. I know, your probably saying - well - yeah Jenn of course! To a certain extent I have realized this...but I guess I am learning it in a new way. Yeah.

americano olympics

I'm watching the olympics at this late night coffee shop with an americano. I tell you about little moments like these because they are my favorite.
The guy that made my salad and I just watched the hurdles together yelling at the tv.
nothing too new to say. Just enjoying a late night and excited about the day off tomorrow. I'm excited that Michelle's surgery went so well and looks as though she's recovering perfectly.
whew.
Mkay bye for now.

itunes shuffle

i love putting ITunes on shuffle and seeing what happens. Sometimes it's good to have the computer decide what the soundtrack of the night will be. So, tonight I hit it on shuffle, surfed around a bit, put a little cranberry mud mask on my face (I have to try these sort of things out for work you know), pet the dog, finished laundry, and enjoyed the music.
Tonight my computer has been good to me and picked some good songs.. Here are some of the last hour's worth:
11. Josh Garrells - Creation Song
10. Lou Barlow - Legendary
9. Sufjan Stevens - We Three Kings
8. Caedom's Call - Petrified Heart
7. Tegan and Sara - Back In Your Head
6. India.Arie - This Too Shall Pass
5. Matt Pond PA - Last Light
4. The Weepies - Riga Girl
3. Mute Math - Control
2. Myriad - Forget What You Came For
1. Coldplay - Strawberry Swing

tomorrow is my favorite day of the week. i'm hoping for sleep, a doctor's visit, lots of time with God, and maybe a tattoo. :)

tomorrow is tuesday

i went to see the new batman movie tonight. it was definitely a dark-ish film (as people have been saying), but I enjoyed it. heath's performance was AMAZING. It had my head spinning a bit at his talent.
so tomorrow I am off of work. woo woo. yeah yeah. Tuesday is a beautiful day to spend with God, and I'm going to do just that. I'm thinking of enjoying some really focused time here at the house and then venturing to a coffee shop late in the afternoon to read and lightly absorb, and relax a bit.
mkay, good night. more tomorrie.

Ephesians 3:9 / Fellowship of the Mystery

man i wish i had something compelling and profound to put on here but I'm afraid neither of those things are going to happen. I'm just laying here in my bed, like most people around this time of night, looking at my dog curled up next to me laying on the pillow. she's cute. Thinking about how I don't want to spend my day working tomorrow. Thinking about how I wish I could find the bridge for the song I'm working on, and how without trying to I end up writing cheesy lyrics. Thinking about all the things I do when I sit here - the hour before i brush my teeth, wash my face, and head to bed time. Cave time. Down time. Quite time. Bed time. Thinking about how I want to play another round of Word Twist but it sucks up my time, and how everything sucks up my time. And how I wish I had a prayer room to go to. Because then I would pray instead of playing Word Twist. And how the Word comes alive a little more when there are people around going deeper in it too.
I've been feeling a little off the past couple of days and I can't pin-point it. Maybe it's just that I am transitioning again? Or that work is slow? Or that I maybe miss charlotte (always missing things and people aren't i?) and my freedom while I'm there? Or maybe it's just that my sister is still lying in her bed and has an broken back? I don't know. Actually I think I know what it is --- I have the God hunger inside of me lately. A desire just to be with Him and cut everything else out. I've been trying to remind myself why I am 'danieling' it up right now and to listen for His voice while I work. Trying to hear what He is saying to my generation and the church in this crazy gas/ war-ish/ israel/ terrorist/ economic/ famine/ interesting hour that we are living in (I know, sort of cliche' sounding but it's true). Trying to grab some mysteries that are up just above the clouds - where our minds should be resting but have a hard time doing so (check this verse out: "and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ Eph 3:9). I'm trying to hear those little whisperings just enough to make me want to hide a little more under the umbrella of His big ole wings. Sometimes I find I'm more distracted than I want to be in these things though. At work putting up the pretty smelling lotions and coming home to sit around and think of bridges to songs and Word Twist games and lilly laying on pillows, you know, those kind of distractions. Or maybe it's just called life... There's a voice I want to hear though while I'm doing the dishes and putting up lotions at work and hanging out with my sister's broken back... I know I can hear it if i just can remember to listen.

lazing around my house all day: 2 hour nap. laundry. music. organized my closet, cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed. prayed. made a frozen pizza. and the only downer - watched CNN talk about the recession and how oil prices had the most dramatic increase in history today. bought gas. (not in that order)

time to go out with the girls.
going to see a movie near and dear to our hearts
going out to dinner to a fabulous little tea house called Tea Bar and Bites
tomorrow to St Louis.
to see a close friend coming in from Colorado and a concert
then back here for more fun

the month of June is so wonderful I never want it to end. it feels too good to be true. It's like God's little gift to me after several months of rain. whew. glad that's over.

grad school students and coffee

Here I am, at the Coffee Ethic for the third time this week. This time i'm sitting amongst my sister's grad school friends as they study for a final. Their brains are working much harder and much, much faster than mine. I sit and relax as they memorize concepts such as the different tics for Tourettes Syndrome, and Adolescent Maturation Cycles (or whatever the big terms are for puberty).

Yesterday I actually joined in on their Advanced Developmental Psychology class at Evangel. They are on their masters guidance counseling track - and I thought it might be helpful to grasp what a master's level class looks like since I am toying with the idea of going to get my own masters degree. I enjoyed seeing my old professors from my undergrad more than I enjoyed the class - but still enjoyed my time soaking it all in. This week has been a lot of soaking for me. Lots of time praying and enjoying small things like 4 cups of coffee in one day, the book The Shack, and lots of prayer and random meetings with friends. I really haven't done anything major, and I'm thinking I may be a little disappointed in myself for this... but I shouldn't be too hard on myself. This month alone will hold trips for me to KC, St Louis, Charlotte, and Iceland. All of which I am looking forward to and saving energy and money for.

To let you all know where I am on the job hunt...I am no longer hunting. A door opened for me at Mama Jeans, a natural health market/grocery store here in Springfield, and I took it. I will now be in charge of the Personal Care department there. I'm thrilled to know what is around the corner finally. Plus the place is awesome - full of great people I go to church with, a fun atmosphere, and seems like a fun job in general (much less stress from what I gather thus far). And I am so thankful for time before I start (july 5th) to relax, contemplate, be with friends, travel, and pray. I'm still tackling bigger concepts of where I want to be and what I want long term - like going back to Charlotte, going to grad school?, relationships, and the like - but I feel like this is a very positive move hopefully in the right direction. Plus Mama Jeans just rocks!

So that's me as far as circumstances go. When it comes to spiritually - I feel like I'm thriving. I'm growing. I'm experiencing. I'm loving. I'm learning to love. I'm learning to trust. I'm learning to give. And there you go. I'm going to get more coffee now.

lindsay spills coffee

Tonight I ventured over to my friend Arin's house for some good hang out time with friends sittin' on the porch. (So southwest missouri of us huh?) It was nice, complete with a guitar we all took turns strumin' on and talks about Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
My favorite part though was quite simple...my new friend told me she has a blog that is dedicated to her instances spilling coffee on herself - which apparently she does a lot of. Please read, it's really funny:
http://lindsayspillscoffee.blogspot.com

I am now enjoying the fact that it is 1:30am on a Sunday night and that I am awake aaaaand I don't have to start a work week tomorrow. Though everything still feels slightly uncomfortable because of the vast unknowns, I am deeply thrilled to spend a week or so in the wide world of unemployment figuring it out. God is so good, I have felt Him giving me the strength to trust Him to lead me as we figure this all out together -- and enjoy it in the process.

He is the smoothie and I am the straw

Veggie twist smoothie at the mudhouse.
yummy.

Semi - bored today but enjoying the quite. Tomorrow I think I'm going to go to Kansas City to visit IHOP and be with my mom. (I haven't been there in a long time - since they made everything God.tv friendly actually - a crime for me being so close and all). She's going up to KC to grab her parents mail, check on the house, be with her sister, and to just be there. As you remember both of my grandparents have recently passed away and I think my mom is doing well in dealing with it all - but it's quite a lifestyle change on top of normal grief of missing loved ones. So i thought I would go with her - lighten the load for her so to speak.

Today i have continued my job search with nothing exciting to be found. As I have begun my inner structuring/transition process again my life could go in a million different directions, here are some of the things i have thought about recently:
1. working somewhere fun (like mamma jeans - where i have a second interview soon) and getting my teaching certification. i'm thinking then go on to get a masters in secondary education would be awesome. i am in love with the idea of working with young adults for the rest of my life and maybe being professional at it. And might just enjoy it...
2. going back to charlotte and furthering my involvement with the house of prayer (this is always a serious consideration of mine). i am heading out east in june and going to spend some time there before i join the team for the icelandic adventure. this will provide some time to pray about the possibility along with the others swarming my mind.
3. Busting it and trying to make a career move with a serious job. This involves many months, resumes, cover letters that take me forever to write, money to sip coffees while writing the cover letters, and patience.
4. Moving somewhere random, or maybe not so random, like Colorado. Doing what...well...

No one but me really knows how serious I am about any of these things - well, maybe a few people. I've been pretty reserved in figuring it out out loud - trying to allow myself space to figure it out without the opinions of others interupt the process too much. I've been having issues with giving myself grace to figure this all out. I feel like I should have things more put together at the ripe age of 25. But I don't. Then I see some people that I truly admire at just the right time of my self-loathing. All of whom which have no particular career so to speak of, are the same age as me, are unbelievably cool people, and truly love the Lord - which really matters more than anything else anyhow. Then I let out an inner sigh inside and remember that I'm not the only one asking these life altering questions.

Do any of us really know what we want to do? Is it the norm to know or the norm not to know? And who cares about the norm anyway. I guess I do - it pushes me often into new levels of frusteration and stress. But...I just keep giving my drive to have this worked out to God and ask Him to speak to me concerning these mysteries. And allow me to know that He will do His job and I am to do mine. He answers the questions and I ask. He leads and I follow. He speaks and I listen. He is the music and I am the instrument.

this is what we do as seiferts

Mom's making cookies. she's searching around for more chocolate to put in the cookie dough
Michelle is studying for a psychotherapy test.
Jeff fell asleep watching basketball.
i'm playing scrabble on the computer, writing this, drinking coffee and trying not to eat all the cookie dough.
and my dad is eating a cookie and checking on the deeogies that are outside.

this is what we seiferts do on little family get togethers such as today. after church we ate some shrimp pasta my dad made and took all of the dogs on a walk. it was a little cold outside, but worth it.

Happy Easter

favorites

I don't want much i just want to know
black or brown?
mountains or ocean?
music or movies?
blankets or pillows?
dogs or cats?
painting or drawing?
writing or reading?
sandals or boots?
fall or spring?
guitar or piano?
milk or dark chocolate?
her or me?

happy sunday friends

Just enjoyed the nicest day so far (63 degrees outside!) of the year. I felt like quite a hippy running around with friends after church at the park. It was a regular old party with picnic and frisbee.
Church was good today. I needed it to be good. I miss spending my regular 6 hours in the prayer room quite a bit these days. Everything in life without regular prayer seems based off of entertainment when i hang out with people, and i'm so tired of it to be honest. So today was refreshing spending the day talking about scripture and going to church.
I'm not doing the best job of making this post coherenant - i don't even care if that word is spelled correctly - I'm just writing off the top of my head. Hope that it makes at least a little sense.

I say the thing about socializing based off of entertainment because I've had a very social weekend. i'm ready to spend some "cave" time in my room and play my guitar, read the word, and relax a bit... But on the other side of it, it is rather nice to see so many of my good friends on a regular basis.

anyhow - that's all for tonight. happy sunday friends.

4 thoughts on a burpy night

A couple of thoughts:

I hope I get to sleep tonight. I've been fighting sickness for a couple of days and in my fight I think tonight is the worst I have felt yet. My throat is sore, stomach hurts, achy, the works. The funniest thing happens to me when i get a sore throat... Actually, it's just annoying - I burp a lot. I'm not sure I know anyone except my sister that this happens to, but it's true. Burping is the main thing I hate about getting a head cold. It keeps me up all night (more so than the actual cold) and makes my stomach hurt even worse.
So..we'll see what happens. My pillows are talking to me but I'm not looking forward to beginning a fitful night of sleep.

Lilly the puppy is watching the screen as I type. I think I may live with theee coolest dog ever. She's well behaved, has a funny personality -- and is beautiful. Quickly becoming my friend.

So far, living with my parents has been great. Of course, it takes some getting used to. You know, all those really great dinners every night, mom making my bed for me and turning on the lamp and space heater when she beats me home, not paying for rent, ultilities, food....
Okay so it's a pretty sweet deal, i'm not going to lie. I don't plan on staying here forever but I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy all those homecooked dinners while I've got them. (thanks mom and dad!)

Work is going better now that I'm finding my way into a pattern. I'm learning a lot - about shipping, about retail, about chocolate- to be sure. I really miss the prayer room but I love that the Lord lead me back here and am interested to see where it's all going. I'm finding myself concentrating on finding ways to pray in the midst of busyness. This has been a challenge in some ways but simply easy in others. The greatest thing I have noticed is a simple peace in my heart in the middle of transition. I have learned in the past that these sort of changing situations/environments bring quite a bit of emotional stress that easily makes me worried, cranky, emotional, etc -- but the kind of things that generally would get me down simply aren't. I believe it's the Lord giving me grace to walk out this season. And I not only appreciate it but want to really pay attention to it (His grace) -- you know?

Anyway - those are some raw thoughts for the night before I face my burpy night. I want to talk more about what God is doing in my heart but I must say now my pillows are yelling at me. Goodnight.

One Thing

I get to go to OneThing this weekend.
I'm excited.
That's all for now. It's my bed time.

short post

Well, I finally have the short window in which I can write something. I won't make it long because i need to make it to bed, but I just wanted to say hi to everyone. I've been busy transitioning back to Springfield and I must say my life has been crazy. But I finally feel semi-settled tonight and even almost ready for Christmas.

I love Springfield. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in this season.